How is high school?

what a normal question. uugh, getting sick of it. it's not that i i hate it but it's like, everything is so different. from friends to the subjects.

not to brag, but i'm pretty impressed by myself about the grades i'm getting. i never thought i could be so serious in class and work that hard at home. i hope on the 16th of october, my mum will see how hard i've been working and hopefully will give me something :) but it's pretty getting on my nerve that i have like 2-3 exams a day (sometimes). i hope i'm going to pass this year with quite good grades (Y)

and now friends, wow, my new friends are.... unimaginable. that's all i can say for now

xx

a new someone

as you guys know i'm in HS and it's stressing me outt! and it's kinda making me a little crazy. but like, what i've been trying to find these days is a boyfriend ( real one! no only texting and those shits, but someone who is there for you, and can be with you ). it's veryyyy hard finding one. i'm not close to anyone these day, and i haven't found anyone attractive enough

AXCEPT! i actually found someone that i really like. i mean like, really-really-like. he's actually an old-friend and i never actually thought that i would ever have this crush on him, but like the last time i saw him... i was like "daaaamn boy" HAHA. but really, he's so cute and i really want to get to know him again. i hope he feels the same, but... if he doesn't, it's good enough that we can be friend :D

and if you're reading this : i love you, i always have, but this time it's just more than friends. and i really want to get to know you better! please, never loose our friendship, EVER! cause you are one of the best (d**** b** > remember?)

xx, nad

HighSchool ?

soooooo sorry i haven't been updating. the holiday was soo... "fun" and i was busy, and now i'm back at school. i'll tell you how it goes!

so i'm in High School now. interesting right? well... not really. i'm kinda upset. i mean, it's really hard. i have to get above 70 average, get new friends and yet keep smiling and being joyful at home. what a job for me.

mostly i'm pretty bummed cause all my close friends are gone. i cry alot, cause i miss them. and like... it's harder now cause my ex bf is in one class with me. and i'm playing with people i never actually thought of even smiling to. you know? it's going so... unplanned. and the subjects are like... FUCKING SHIT! you know?? uughhh.

but the only good thing there is my old friends dennis, izzati, putri, clarissa and anggi. and they are the only people who are actually making me want to go to school, eventhough we're in one class. UGH! it's pretty fucking shit so far.

i'll keep ya updated on if i'm alive or not -_-

Felt like dying cause of a cold

i was really sick this week, i mean not exactly a week. so here is the story, on Wednesday i went to citos [it's a mall in Jakarta, Indonesia] to get a top for the party the next day. i was there with two of my friends, and one of them just recovered from this really bad cold. so we finished shopping, then when i got home, i couldn't stop coughing. i couldn't even sleep properly cause i was coughing so badly. it was horrible.

the next morning my mum gave me 3 meds. it was like "this is your morning vitamin, and this is your night med. and the cough med is for 3 times a day, got it??" and i was like... "aha.." let's say i wasn't the biggest joy that day. and then cause i still really wanted to go to the party (still) so i went to my friends house [even though i was feeling very crappy] and then when i got there i was feeling a little headachie but i was ok. then as it got more and more to the day [around 3 to 5ish] i felt really fucked up! really! i wanted to die. but then my friends treated me to a salon and we went to the party. the amazing thing is i was OK at the party.. weird right? and at the sleep over too.

so as the next day came. i was ok for the morning, couldn't stop coughing again though. but i wen't back from my friends house and just couldn't feel anything. it really was horrible. and then my mum brought me to the doctor and then i got proper meds. and now, i'm not 100% better, but i'm much better now. and guess how many meds i have?? not 5 but 7! for just a cold. i know, LOTS!

i hope i get well soon. and i hope my friends will have a lovely time in their new school. i'm really upset about us moving schools. it really makes me cry sometimes. i hope we won't lose contact anytime soon. i love you guys to much to let you go now. cause we've been with eachother too long, to let it go just like that :) best wishes
xx

life is a "bundle of joy!"

well as you know i'm a girl with amazing powers of emotion. i think they call us, teenage girls. it's common. as anyone about it, and they will go "ooh... that" or like "i'm sorry you have one of those". honest, no one in the world would want to be stuck with a teenage girl, maybe accept a teenage guy [which are usually hot. lol]

so my life so far is complicated [surely everyone knows that by now]. i always have this hate-friendly relationship with my mum and amazingly complicated friendship with my friends right now. i'm not sure where i'm standing in both of those relationships. i guess [as i've said before] the HS pressure is getting to every single one of us. surely no one admits it, but it looks like it. so so clear.

while all this shittingly stuff are going on, i have more bad news! i've lost SO MUCH WEIGHT! i mean.. i use to want to lose weight. but now, i'm not thinking of loosing weight, then suddenly i lost 4 kg! 4 FREAKIN KG! for me that's like ALOT! this is kind of worrying for me, but i hope it's nothing serious.

from all that crap, one thing that i'm mostly worried of is this thing we have in indoensia called CLBK [Cinta Lama Balik Kembali, right?] meaning : falling in love with an old lover. yeah.. i'm scared of that. i'm not saying that i'm falling in love with anyone, but i'm just worried that it would happened. and it's so forbidden! there are 2 reasons why it is forbidden, first, he's taken, second, i'm taken. so... stop now? well... i'm not planning on anything, i just hope we could be friends like we were, nothing more. cause last night, i can see that you've changed. WHY ARE PEOPLE CHANGING????

talking about changing, i bet my cousins in england has changed alot! i miss them so much, and ofcoures the rest of the family too. well, that's all from me now. gonna clean up my room now [mum's idea], tchau!
xx

friends and foe ?

i bet you all have had friends problem, who hasn't right? it's not that i'm dishing on someone. but i'm confused. who are real friends? who isn't? i feel like everyone are my friends, but like..... who accepts me for who i am? it's hard to know if you don't really talk

as we all know, human beings are not perfect and so for that it's hard to know what is what. i know it's hard to understand what i'm writing about, but i'm just questioning on somethings. and totally scared on telling anyone, cause like..... UGH! i can't really talk here anymore.

i guess it's just the pressure of going to HS with new people and losing my friends. so now i'm all "uugh.... what to do now?" mode. i really hope i'll find new, good, amazing friends. and won't lose contact with my best friends now [nindya, maitri, and hana] -- cause there the ones that will move.

oh well, let's hope everything will workout. and btw, i have a tumblr now. i made it to make a point to my friend for like being a internet addict. so in my tumblr it's all about my music, movies and idols and this blog is for my personal things.

xx, nad

my youtube

hey guyyyyys! well as i told you, i was back from puncak. and over there i made a film with my friends. i just want you all to check it out :



thanks guys, appreciate the love.
xx