Tuesday, 28 July 2009

HighSchool ?

soooooo sorry i haven't been updating. the holiday was soo... "fun" and i was busy, and now i'm back at school. i'll tell you how it goes!

so i'm in High School now. interesting right? well... not really. i'm kinda upset. i mean, it's really hard. i have to get above 70 average, get new friends and yet keep smiling and being joyful at home. what a job for me.

mostly i'm pretty bummed cause all my close friends are gone. i cry alot, cause i miss them. and like... it's harder now cause my ex bf is in one class with me. and i'm playing with people i never actually thought of even smiling to. you know? it's going so... unplanned. and the subjects are like... FUCKING SHIT! you know?? uughhh.

but the only good thing there is my old friends dennis, izzati, putri, clarissa and anggi. and they are the only people who are actually making me want to go to school, eventhough we're in one class. UGH! it's pretty fucking shit so far.

i'll keep ya updated on if i'm alive or not -_-

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Felt like dying cause of a cold

i was really sick this week, i mean not exactly a week. so here is the story, on Wednesday i went to citos [it's a mall in Jakarta, Indonesia] to get a top for the party the next day. i was there with two of my friends, and one of them just recovered from this really bad cold. so we finished shopping, then when i got home, i couldn't stop coughing. i couldn't even sleep properly cause i was coughing so badly. it was horrible.

the next morning my mum gave me 3 meds. it was like "this is your morning vitamin, and this is your night med. and the cough med is for 3 times a day, got it??" and i was like... "aha.." let's say i wasn't the biggest joy that day. and then cause i still really wanted to go to the party (still) so i went to my friends house [even though i was feeling very crappy] and then when i got there i was feeling a little headachie but i was ok. then as it got more and more to the day [around 3 to 5ish] i felt really fucked up! really! i wanted to die. but then my friends treated me to a salon and we went to the party. the amazing thing is i was OK at the party.. weird right? and at the sleep over too.

so as the next day came. i was ok for the morning, couldn't stop coughing again though. but i wen't back from my friends house and just couldn't feel anything. it really was horrible. and then my mum brought me to the doctor and then i got proper meds. and now, i'm not 100% better, but i'm much better now. and guess how many meds i have?? not 5 but 7! for just a cold. i know, LOTS!

i hope i get well soon. and i hope my friends will have a lovely time in their new school. i'm really upset about us moving schools. it really makes me cry sometimes. i hope we won't lose contact anytime soon. i love you guys to much to let you go now. cause we've been with eachother too long, to let it go just like that :) best wishes

Thursday, 2 July 2009

life is a "bundle of joy!"

well as you know i'm a girl with amazing powers of emotion. i think they call us, teenage girls. it's common. as anyone about it, and they will go "ooh... that" or like "i'm sorry you have one of those". honest, no one in the world would want to be stuck with a teenage girl, maybe accept a teenage guy [which are usually hot. lol]

so my life so far is complicated [surely everyone knows that by now]. i always have this hate-friendly relationship with my mum and amazingly complicated friendship with my friends right now. i'm not sure where i'm standing in both of those relationships. i guess [as i've said before] the HS pressure is getting to every single one of us. surely no one admits it, but it looks like it. so so clear.

while all this shittingly stuff are going on, i have more bad news! i've lost SO MUCH WEIGHT! i mean.. i use to want to lose weight. but now, i'm not thinking of loosing weight, then suddenly i lost 4 kg! 4 FREAKIN KG! for me that's like ALOT! this is kind of worrying for me, but i hope it's nothing serious.

from all that crap, one thing that i'm mostly worried of is this thing we have in indoensia called CLBK [Cinta Lama Balik Kembali, right?] meaning : falling in love with an old lover. yeah.. i'm scared of that. i'm not saying that i'm falling in love with anyone, but i'm just worried that it would happened. and it's so forbidden! there are 2 reasons why it is forbidden, first, he's taken, second, i'm taken. so... stop now? well... i'm not planning on anything, i just hope we could be friends like we were, nothing more. cause last night, i can see that you've changed. WHY ARE PEOPLE CHANGING????

talking about changing, i bet my cousins in england has changed alot! i miss them so much, and ofcoures the rest of the family too. well, that's all from me now. gonna clean up my room now [mum's idea], tchau!